My Vipassana experience
A
month after Vipassana:
A
month has now passed away since I returned from the Vipassana Meditation Centre
at Amersfoort, in the Netherlands. Since lot of my friends were asking me where
I was during the Christmas and new year and the one who knew that I was gone to
find myself were asking how the meditation went, I thought write it so that you
have an idea what it was all about.
Since
I was called at the last moment to join the course, I myself had very little
idea about Vipassana. What I knew for sure was that I would be gone for 10
days. I packed my clothes for 10 days and got my train to Amersfoort. After a
ride for about 3 hours, I arrived at the meditation centre at De Glind.
The
registration, the evening meal and the orientation about the courses kept me
excited and the 8 pm on that very day, the course and the noble silence was
started.
With
a short meditation, we went to sleep at 9 pm and there I was with mere
curiosity of 10 more days which were due to come.
You
are awaken with a trilling sound of a gong every morning at 4 am and you try to
start your day half asleep. I was there at the meditation hall by 4.30 every
morning which I was proud of. We followed the instructions and kept on meditating
from 4am till 9 pm except during the breakfast and lunch time. There wasn’t any
dinner!
First
3 days were mostly the concentration of your respiration and then from 4 till
10th day, it was all about the sensation and equanimity. What
I felt during those 10 days where the biggest learning of my life. I believe
that I had never maintained such a strong discipline in my whole life and the
willingness to achieve something had never been so sharp.
Even
though being born in a Hindu/ Buddhist community, I realised that I know so less about my own
beliefs. It was an eye opener on so many aspects of my own life for me. I
regret now why I didn’t do this course earlier.
I
had an ocean of time to think, Even though the whole meditation was about
getting out of your thoughts. But I thought, thought and kept on thinking
even though i didnt want those thoughts….there were this immensity of thoughts
which would sometimes keep me awake at night. A regret of the past or a
fear of the future; the journeys and the difficulties of life I have been
through and also the merriest events, the wonderful people I met in last
years….. the thoughts came and passed away.
Coming
back home, I feel like I have regained a new life. I’m trying to practicing
it in day to day life where I cope my stress with my meditative thoughts.
Nothing is permanent. Whatever happens, it all has the same characteristics of
coming and passing away. I do try to meditate even though the evening
hours are very difficult coz of the tiredness. I’m holding to my morning
sessions even though I'm mostly half asleep.
I
learned to forgive. I think, I now can distance myself when an event occurs so
that I wouldn’t let come upto my heart try to maintain my equanimity. I
believe that I would now react differently than I used to do it before.
Separating me from day to happiness or miseries is not always evident but I do
try to apply it! I think it helps you to concentrate in several aspects of life
and try to teach you a meaning of life. I feel more relaxed and I understand
why I'm meditating; not for the sake of someone's wishes but my own choice.
I’m
glad that I’ve already registered for one day courses for coming months and I’m
dedicated to do the 10 days course in dec 2014.
I
am joining the one day courses too. The last one was at 26 of January in
Brussels.
The
practical arrangement and more info about Vipassana can be found here.
Peace,
Raj
